My Newest Ministry: Teaching Brain Surgery
Friend to Churches Ministries, 3166 Wildwood Circle Massillon, OH 44646. Phone: 330-837-2568 Right now my ministry
consists of: preaching, teaching on the King James Bible,
writing, this newsletter, a soon-to-be radio program, and
several other minor things. But I have decided to expand
my ministry into yet another area. I'm going to start
doing seminars where I will be teaching Brain Surgery.
What? Have I ever performed brain surgery? No. But I'm
not going to perform brain surgery--only teach future
brain surgeons how to do it. I have some private theories
on the practice that I've always wanted to expound on so
I'm really going to do well. In fact, I'm not even
going to show up for the seminars. I'm going to send
videos; and they'll be shown on large screens; and I'll
charge the suck ... er ... I mean, my "Clients"
to come and watch. I should make millions! What? YOU don't think anyone
will come? You don't think anyone would be SO Stupid as to let
someone who never performed brain surgery teach them how
to do it? Well, under normal circumstances YOU would be right. But I
will only be dealing with Christians. Fortunately for me,
experience means nothing to Christians. I will be able to
foist all kinds of worthless theories on them. They'll
believe me. How do I know? Well,
I heard about this guy that has never been married and
who has no children. Yet this guy does seminars where he
teaches how to have a good marriage and how to raise
children. He doesn't even show up for the seminars. He
just sends a video and the then charges the suck ... er
... I rnean, "his Clients" to watch them. (This
guy's a genius!) How does he get away with it? Easy. He
only deals with Christians. Apparently he has come to
realize that Christians are not too bright.They'll
believe anyone who claims to be an expert. I figure I'll simply
read a book about Brain Surgery, proclaim myself an
expert, start the new ministry, and wait for the suck ...
er ... I rnean, "Clients" to start sending in
their checks. I should make millions! Why? Well, if
Christians are so dumb that they'll pay a man who is not
a husband and not a father teach thern his theories on
such two important subjects, then surely they'll buy my stuff on Brain
Surgery. After all, what could be more importarnt to them
than raising their kids, right? And they'll listen to a
know-nothing for advice on that. Why wouldn't they listen
to my know-nothing theories on sornething that will
probably never affect them? Brain Surgery. No please! No
flattery! I know it takes a great and cunning mind to
come up with my "Brain Surgery" scam. But I'm
not the genius! It's that other guy. He's been doing it
for years, and they're still lining up to give him their
money. But I guess neither of us would make it if it weren't for Christians. Am I ever glad they never stop and think! Back to A Friend To Churches Ministries
|